A Matter of Mistakes
by Sansele
Summary: Miaka has done something foolish, and the Suzaku seishi are in trouble... not even Taiitsu-kun can help them now...
1. The Start of Chaos

A Matter of Mistakes

Chapter One: The Start of Chaos 

  It was a normal day in the Konan palace. The sun was shining over the land, the birds were singing… so beautiful. 

  'LEKKA SHINEN!'

  Yes, well, it did start out as a normal day…

  Oh. We have Mitsukake running after Tasuki, who's just flamed Tamahome. For the 368th time. I suppose Mitsukake got tired of healing Tamahome. And all the Suzaku seishi are coming out too…

  Sansele?

  Yeah?

  Just narrate.

  Fine, whatever… Nuriko looked as if he wanted to help in whacking Tasuki, Chichiri was trying to keep everyone sane, but as Chiriko said, 'When Mitsukake-sama goes nuts, the world is in serious danger.' Which later went into the history books, or so it is said. The three of them were frantically chasing the two, but as Tasuki's seishi power is speed, all had a slight problem. As for Mitsukake… refer to aforementioned Chiriko quote.

  Back at the palace, Miaka was comforting the fatally wounded Tamahome.

  'Oh, Tamahome! Don't die, please, I could never live without you…'

  'For you, Miaka, I would undergo anything, anything…'

  'Tamahome…'

  'Miaka…'

  'Tamahome…'

  'Miaka…'

  We'll leave the lovebirds to their… interesting… conversation… You see, Tasuki, having just come back from Mt. Reikaku after a few days, was really hungry. Of course, he still ate neater than Miaka, but he was really unhappy when she snatched for the last bun. He loved her, but certain things happen when you get a bandit really pissed. Yeah. So… huh? We're going to have a flashback? Chiriko, spare us, please…

~~~~~

  'LEKKA SHINEN!'

  Miaka stared motionless at the flame rushing at her. How could you, Tasuki, how could you… she bit her lip and turned away, knowing that she could never move in time to dodge it…

  Then, suddenly, someone pushed her away. She turned just in time to see Tamahome burnt by the fire… meant for her… 'TAMAHOME!!!'

~~~~~

  Miaka brushed away tears. Then she saw, through her tear-filled eyes, the last bun. And of course she thought: FOOOOOOOOOD~! But in her haste, she knocked over Chichiri's chair. His kasa, which he had hung on the back of it, fell to the ground. Miaka hurriedly picked it up, but didn't notice a small bottle which rolled out of it… Typical Miaka… And I have just been told by the Suzaku seishi to not diss her. How do they stand her?

  Finally, the Suzaku seishi returned. Mitsukake had a field day scaring Tasuki, and decided to heal Tamahome. When all the seishi were happy and all, dinner was served. Most of them had spent five hours running round Konan, you see. Just before the seishi got to the dinner table, Miaka rushed there, nearly slipping on a small round object. Looking down, she realised that there was a little bottle there, with what looked like… salt in it. Quickly, she seasoned the food with it, hoping that it would taste so much the better. But of course, to Miaka, anything would taste great… no; I have no desire to be burnt… I can't stop dissing Miaka though…

  All was well, until the seishi and miko decided to go to bed. Then suddenly, there was a great fuss, and many cries of 'ITAI!' '#@*$!' 'OW!' All the Suzaku seishi and miko were rolling on the floor in great pain. This would have been a great moment for the Seiryuu to pop in and invade Konan, but they were scheduled to appear later, rather than now. Or maybe they just didn't know. Yes, it is possible. Half a minute after the first twinges of pain…

  'Is everyone okay now, no… oh, no…'

  'Chichiri, how come your voice is higher?'

  'Miaka, how come your voice is lower?'

  Pause.

  'AHHHHHHHHHH!'

  'Hotohori-sama, I'm a girl now! Everything's okay, right?'

  'Nuriko… I was also affected…'

  'NOOOO!'

  'Hey, %@*#$, I'm a woman!'

  'Is this a Kutou spell, Chichiri-san?' (A/n: Nakago would like to comment that he would never do anything so stupid. Maybe not. But Tomo would.)

   Then an idea came to Chichiri's mind. 'Oh no… please don't let it be…' He searched through his kasa frantically, then turned to face the others. 'Did anyone see a small tube of white powder?'

  There was silence. Then Miaka quavered (as far as she could in a deep voice), 'I…thought it was salt…'

  'All right. Then just what was that powder, Chichiri?' Hotohori was trying to take control of the situation, and not freak out that he was a girl. Not bad. Can see why he is the emperor. 

  'Taiitsu-kun gave me that, no da. Some of us were supposed to sneak into Kutou and plant it in the Seiryuu seishi's food, no da. It gives the victim a gender change…'

  'For how long?' Tasuki interrupted quickly. 

  Chichiri, for once, showed a slightly uncertain expression. 'Uh, no da… Actually, there is no cure for it yet…'

  Pause.

  'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

  The ending credits start playing.

  But first, screen stop; then rewind a little bit.

  You guys forgot the narrator's comments.

  '#@*$, do we really have to go through this?' 

  Yes, Tasuki, and by the way, did I tell you how stunning you look now?

  '*#@^….'

  Don't curse; it's unbecoming of a girl.

  'I hate women…'

  Doesn't that mean you should like Miaka now?

  'NO!'

  Tamahome and Miaka… looks like you have a little problem now…

  Sounds of sniffling and crying are emitted.

  Poor Nuriko, the time that he has a chance, it's taken away.

  'Come here, Miaka…'

  'What… Nuriko, stop looking so murderous…'

  'WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THE POWDER FIRST?'

  'Tamahome, tasukete… oh no…'

  'Sansele, why are you sniggering?'

  Don't ask. Hotohori, I hope that you can still rule the country.

  'Of course, but now… I am so utterly beautiful…'

  … Ooh, I've never seen Chichiri actually even look like a girl before…

  'Don't rub it in, no da. Taiitsu-kun will kill me…'

  Don't worry. If she does, some interesting things will happen. Did I mention you look really cute as a chibi?

  'Sniff, sniff…'

  Damn, gomen, gomen… Mitsukake, glad to see you really do look like a girl. 

  'At the very least…'

  Chiriko, what say you?

  'It's an interesting phenomenon. I must research on it.'

  Hope you can find a cure quickly… 

  Ending credits finally get to play…


	2. What the #@&$#?!

Disclaimer: Don't own Fushigi Yuugi, na no da…

Chapter Two: What the #@&$#?!

  Well, so we return to the scene. Or rather, two hours later. Nuriko had succeeded in making Miaka look like more like a guy… it helped that the spell was designed so that the girls would look like bishounen, or vice versa. Houki had been called from the harem, and after promising not to reveal what had happened, got clothes for all the seishi. So now we see… oh no…

  'THAT'S IT, YOU STUPID MORON! YOU CHANGE BACK INTO A GIRL NOW, OR WE KILL YOU!' Tasuki, do not threaten Chichiri. No, I don't care if he's changed back into a guy. You're going to flame me? Nuriko's going to punch me? Err… okay, do whatever you want… 

  And now we see that Chichiri has hastily changed back. 

  'The other seishi are very scary, no da!'

  Um, quite. Probably the fact that they're… not exactly okay at the moment, you know. But now that all the seishi and their miko are properly attired, Hotohori has taken charge of things. 

  'How are we going to reveal… that we have…'

  'Let's try a nice, simple approach. Pretend that we were girls all along.'

  'No, it ain't going to &@$# work. Remember Hotohori? And our voices…'

  'Oh, gomen, forgot about that…'

  'Okay, no da, the basic problem we have at the present moment is that we can't even act like girls, no da.'

  'Or guys.'

  'Miaka-san, it will be harder for you, because we have Nuriko to help us, while you…'

  'How about I help you, Miaka?'

  'Oh, Tamahome, that would be wonderful. Arigato!' 

  And all of us wince.

  'What's wrong?'

  Nothing, Miaka, it's just that it's a bit weird… because you're a bishounen now… I think you should go with Tamahome now.

  'Okay…'

   Hotohori steps forward. 'And let us not forget the Seiryuu seishi…'

   'Wait… what will happen to Yui-chan?'

  Pause.

  'Oh shit…'

  Guys? And girls?

  'Yeah?'

  I'm going to switch over to the Seiryuu side for a while, see what they're doing there. And no, I won't tell them about your little problem. Chichiri, how about you go to Taiitsu-kun and ask her what to do? I don't know how the Konan people are going to take their seishi changing into girls, you know…

  'Um, okay, no da. I'll go now.'

  Wonderful, so now we have a little scene change. And all is not well in the state of Kutou. Tsk, tsk. Or it really depends on how you see it… 

  What do we see here? Looks like Nakago has cooked up a plan for dealing with Konan and the Suzaku no Shichiseishi… (Cue scary music)…

  'So Suboshi and Amiboshi will strike here, Soi and Tomo will fight here, and Ashitare and Miboshi will cause a distraction. Meanwhile, I will go into the palace and find the Suzaku no Miko. Any questions?'

  Nakago looked up from his map, only to find most of his seishi… looking politely blank. Only Soi and Tomo were paying attention to him. Well, at least he knew Soi was, but Tomo on the other hand… had a rather lovesick look on his face, as far as Nakago could see through the face-paint. 'Lovely, the rest of them are all brain-dead. Why Seiryuu chose them to be his seishi, nobody knows,' the shogun thought in sarcasm. Oh wait…

  Nakago?

  What is it?

  I don't want to anger you, it's just that…

  What?

  You're insulting Amiboshi & Suboshi as well, and that means…

  Fangirls?

  Unfortunately so. I don't exactly know what's going to happen if angry fangirls come pouring into the fic…

  I see. In that case, I'll try to cut down on insulting them.

  Great, any effort is worth some recognition. Well, back to the fic then.

  'Does anyone disagree with the plan then?'

  Suboshi opens his mouth, but quickly decides against saying anything when Soi and Tomo give him a deadly look.

  'It's a great plan, Nakago-sama!'

  'We'll definitely be able to defeat them this time!'

  Ahem, Sansele?

  Yeah?

  Why are they so…

  Genki? Um, I think they had some sugar at tea.

  Long, deep sigh from Nakago…

  As Nakago explained the Top-Secret-Plan-That-Would-Definitely-Kill-The-Suzaku-Seishi (henceforth known as TSPTWDKTSS… great idea Nakago, a true brainwave.)

  Shut up.

  Yui-sama came in to tell the Seiryuu seishi to come for dinner. Immediately Suboshi stood up, despite Nakago's protest that he had not quite finished explaining yet… and immediately sat down again, after another round of murderous looks from Soi and Tomo.

  'Yui-sama, we'll go in two hours' time, I must explain the plan to them again, or we will never get our revenge.' Yui's face changed, and she stopped smiling.

  'You're quite right; I'll come back later. I'll… go study for a while.'

  So Yui… all right, fine, _Yui-sama_ goes off to study in her room. Suboshi is looking a little mutinous, and Soi and Tomo are sitting up and taking notes most dutifully, while Nakago explains everything _again_. Poor Nakago. But is it not getting a little boring here? Let's go see what the Suzaku seishi are going to do…

  Well, well, back from Taiitsu-kun, eh, Chichiri? What did she say?

  She just gave me more of the same drug, and insisted we find a way to feed it to the Seiryuu seishi, no da. I suppose we have to think up a plan, not just to give them the drug, but also not expose our vulnerability, no da. 

  And the Suzaku seishi and miko slump back, after trying their best to act like… their gender. What are they going to do now? And will they be able to stop the Seiryuu seishi's evil plan?

Ending credits play…

~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all who reviewed! But ooh, a flame…

Nuriko: Let's give it to Tasuki!

Tasuki: Now I can flame Tamahome some more! Heh, heh…

Wait one sec…. TAMAHOME!!! Didn't I tell you not to insult me and the other reviewers?! 

Tamahome: Eh, heh… (Runs away, Tasuki chasing him and flaming him)

A/n: Okay, I actually like Miaka; just that she's an idiot sometimes. And as you can see, she's a bishounen, regardless of what some may say… no hairy legs, because I can't remember a bishounen with those. Yep, just wanted to cross out any doubts… And don't kill me Tamahome fans! It was just a joke… (Backs off as far as possible)


End file.
